I used to be all about the resolutions, the birthday year goals (18 before 19 anyone?), the lists of plans. I still am an avid to-do list kinda gal, and I find it helpful to use a written planner and write down my grocery lists. It's been a long time since I've done actual resolutions though. The last couple of years I have done New Years Mantras: Have Courage (2014, 2015), Let Go (2017), and these resonate well with me.
Letting go was a harder one for me than have courage was previously. I let go of let go, so to speak. While I was able to let go of a lot of past events, which was the original intention of this mantra, I had trouble letting go of things in the moment this year. I've been trying to figure out why it is I am still frustrated by the same things over and over again, and that I run to my various listening ears to vent to them every time things happen. For some of these events there is never new information or new happenings: just new days. I still need to find a way to let go of these moments as they happen.
Reflecting on why it is that I have trouble, I think I have one of the big reasons pegged down. The reason I am continuously disappointed and frustrated is because I hold onto this expectation that things will change, that some people will change. I am not a pessimist: I truly believe that people can change. However, maybe I am too optimistic, and I wonder if my belief that things/people can change is clouding my judgement about whether or not things/people will change.
So maybe it's time for a combined mantra: it's time to let go of these expectations, or perhaps to adjust them. Things might change, but I can't count on it to happen when I want it to happen.
I also have a couple of very concrete goals for the new year, even though I'm not into resolutions. I want to be way more organized about my digital files: transferring photos from my phone to computer, organizing them well on my hard drive, backing everything up.... nothing like a new year to start a big ol' 2017 folder!
Anyway - the goal of this post is not to sound as vague or serious or dreary as it is now sounding (oops!). It's actually a happy realization, I think. Either way - I am happy. I had a wonderful new years eve with special people, I am back at school and excited for what this term will bring me, and I am ready to enjoy my last months in my lovely apartment, getting to know this new city.
What have you got planned for the new year?
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